| Unlike many wedding customs, it's not so hard to get | | | | culture and personal anecdote alike. A memorable |
| to the bottom of the origin of the bachelorette | | | | scene in the movie The Forty-Year-Old Virgin, in |
| party. It's a fairly recent innovation, the result of the | | | | which the title character's friends attempt to set him |
| cross-breeding of the traditional bachelorette's | | | | up with what they expect will be a can't-miss |
| teawith the idea of the bachelor party, with a bit of | | | | romantic prospect - a drunken bridesmaid |
| the even-more-traditional bridal shower mixed in. | | | | encountered at a bar, where a bachelorette party is |
| The idea of the bridal shower goes back, perhaps, | | | | underway - affirms the stereotype. |
| thousands of years; experts attribute it to the need | | | | But this custom has changed with time, like its twin, |
| for dowries. In European culture, it was expected | | | | the bachelor party. Bachelor parties have their own |
| that women would begin married life with a dowry - | | | | Bacchanalian reputation to live up to, but gradually |
| a gift of money or tools (or both) that would allow | | | | they're toning down somewhat (while remaining fun). |
| the new couple to set up their new household | | | | Drinking has been moderated and honoring one's |
| together. But women who lacked adequate dowries | | | | future bride is a priority; in fact, sometimes the |
| would be "showered" with gifts by sympathetic | | | | fiance' and her friends show up, and the party |
| friends, which would enable the wedding to go on as | | | | becomes a celebration of marriage, rather than a |
| planned. | | | | lament for lost bachelorhood. These combined |
| The bridal shower was traditionally, and still is, a fairly | | | | bachelor-and-bachelorette parties are sometimes |
| staid affair, with older woman friends of the couple | | | | called stag and does parties. |
| or of the bride's family invited, and the bride-to-be | | | | One custom that isn't changing at bachelorette |
| accompanied by her mother. (Increasingly, as | | | | parties is the ritual smoking of cigars. In fact, with |
| traditionally gendered divisions of labor continue to | | | | the increase in the popularity of cigars over the past |
| break down, men are involved in the showers as well | | | | fifteen years, lighting up a stogie at a bachelorette |
| - after all, if the man will do part of the cooking and | | | | party is often encouraged! After all, one feature of |
| cleaning, he has a stake in knowing what presents | | | | the new popularity of cigars has been the fact that |
| are received!) They serve a much-needed function, | | | | women are more often found, today, among the |
| but they may not have the let-your-hair-down appeal | | | | new smokers of cigars. At least half a million |
| of a last night out with the friends of your single | | | | American women smoke cigars, according to a 2002 |
| years. | | | | estimate by the Cigar Association of America. That |
| The bachelorette's tea offered some of the | | | | number makes sense in a country where - according |
| peer-to-peer intimacy that may have been lacking in | | | | to demographic research by Cigar Babes, a nonprofit |
| bridal showers, but still - a tea? The highly formal, | | | | organization for women cigar smokers' women make |
| characteristically Victorian custom of the tea | | | | 85% of buying decisions, start 70% of new |
| ceremony holds great appeal for many people, as the | | | | businesses, and buy 50% of the products classified |
| recent popularity of tea shops and books on tea | | | | traditionally as "male." |
| attest. Still, as women began to learn about the wild | | | | Cigars, then, remain a staple bachelorette party gift. |
| shenanigans historically associated with bachelor | | | | For those of you planning a bachelorette party, here |
| parties, over the last several decades, they decided | | | | are some cigar basics: |
| they wanted in. | | | | 1) Choose good cigars. (A wedding is a |
| The Bridesmaidaid website compares them to Title | | | | once-in-a-lifetime event!) Buy well-made, hand-rolled, |
| IX, the 1972 law that mandated equal federal funding | | | | long-filler cigars from a quality cigar outlet or online |
| of boys' and girls' educational activities. Just as Title | | | | store. The better the cigar, the better the taste, and |
| IX ensured that girls' soccer teams and afterschool | | | | the more permanent the memories. |
| math programs would receive the same budgetary | | | | 2) Speaking of taste: the outer wrapper (which gives |
| consideration as boys' did, allowing young women to | | | | the cigar its outer color) generally tells you how the |
| attain similar achievements, the new bachelorette | | | | cigar tastes. Darker outer wrappers mean sweeter |
| party allows women to compete with men in | | | | taste; tan- or lighter-colored cigars are drier. |
| pre-wedding-night partying. As the website's | | | | 3) How to smoke: Cut off the cap of the cigar, then, |
| anonymous author puts it: "Bachelorette parties are | | | | using a wooden match or a butane lighter or other |
| like the Title IX of weddings: they're supposed to | | | | full flame (not a paper match), turn the end of the |
| make the girls equal to the boys. If the groomsmen | | | | cigar in the flame a full 360 degrees until every part |
| can take their boy out for a night of debauchery, so | | | | of it is lit. Don't inhale - this isn't a cigarette! Pull the |
| can we, right?" | | | | smoke into your mouth and taste it thoroughly |
| Bachelorette parties have indeed become associated | | | | without allowing it into your lungs. Remember, it's |
| with bachelor-party-style antics, as illustrated by pop | | | | about the taste. |